I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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