Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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