Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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