If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
