so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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