the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
