Where is the hickey?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
