I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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