Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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