Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
