i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
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