He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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