I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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