I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
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