had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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