Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
What a dumb baby whore.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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