God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
