I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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