butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
