I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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