I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
