The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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