seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize