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• (260): View more from Indiana

  i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?

  Fav 22 934 6109

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy

  Fav 11 4315 1183

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• (845): View more from New York

  Did you bedazzle the elevator?

  Fav 2 3648 984

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist

  Fav 5 1051 1773

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I am too young to be this hungover

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...

  Fav 6 2685 872

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum

  Fav 5 850 1843

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.

  Fav 4 827 1373

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (914): View more from New York

  I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.

  Fav 1 931 551

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"

  Fav 2 733 378

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  you ever just feel like an organ is failing?

  Fav 2 462 416

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers

  Fav 1 236 283

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation

  Fav 1 12 44

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