I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My boob is missing a layer of skin
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend