Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
