Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
