I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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