physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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