do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I need to sanitize my soul.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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