I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
