What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize