Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
