I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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