I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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