If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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