This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
