If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
