Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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