yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just had sex bonerless
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
