he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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