My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
