Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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