Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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