hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Randomize
