Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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