I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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