I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
