this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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