I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize