so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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