My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
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Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
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I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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