You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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