i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
