He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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