Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
