DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She told me I should be a condom model.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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