I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
