Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
