Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
