so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize