i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I am naked and annoyed.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
